Letters 2-19-14

After a kind nudge from a beautifully multigendered friend, I’m going to completely disagree with something I wrote at the end of my guest editorial (Queer Friendly Suggestions for the Well-Intentioned, February 5); specifically that, “If (a man) wants to dress like a woman, and get treated like a man, including using the pronoun “he,” he’s making it much more confusing for the rest of us trying to see and support all the ACTUAL trans-people in our community.” Wrong. So, that’s cross-dressing, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and it doesn’t hurt anybody. Not transgender folks, gay ones, anybody. In fact, most cross-dressers are awesome, and are certainly doing more to confront and heal sexism and transphobia than most of us.

My sincere apologies to the cross-dressers. You’re part of the solution. Unless you’re a cross-dresser who, when dressed up, gets indignant when asked to clarify your pronoun preference once it becomes relevant to the conversation you’re having with someone. If they’re not trying to make you feel like a freak, and you’re offended, you’ve got more healing to do.

The best thing you can do for such an offended cross-dresser is to remind them that your question is relevant for many people who live between gender polarities. The second best thing you can do is be patient and remember that anyone who’s gone through a coming-out process has an awkward period of time, often years, while they heal up the damage from becoming part of a group they once viewed as lesser. This was hard enough as a lesbian. I can’t imagine what the trip from straight male to cross-dresser or transwoman costs you.

– Heather Dunn

I write regarding John Lyons Beck’s response to Tibor Breuer’s letter about the Olympia Food Co-op’s boycott of Israel. Beck chides Breuer because he won’t accept it. “The issue is decided,” Beck writes. “It’s a done deal,” and nothing “will change it, because it’s now an established value of the community.” Beck even insults those who continue to question that board’s action as “delusional.” This judgment reveals the coercive spirit at the heart of the board’s action.

In self-governing communities, nothing is decided once and for all. There’s no such thing as a done deal. Community values are not fixed for all time, but are alive and dynamic. There is absolutely nothing to stop any incarnation of the co-op’s board from revisiting the boycott decision. Today, only two members of the 2010 board remain. Among the current board membership, anything is open to discussion and revision.

The co-op’s mission statement says that the co-op aims to “encourage economic and social justice,” “support efforts to increase democratic process,” and “support efforts to foster a socially and economically egalitarian society.” No board has the last word on what these statements mean. The 2010 board forced the co-op to join the BDS movement. The current board might shift to a “fair trade” approach rather than a boycott. Traditions, our beloved local store, hosts many BDS events but does not explicitly boycott Israel. No one bats an eye. Think about it. It’s possible to work toward social justice in a better way.

Every board stewards the co-op with its best judgment and sense of responsibility to the broad community. Where the 2010 board failed, the current one may succeed. In self-governing communities, hope springs eternal and challenges from within are not dismissed as “delusional.” They are genuinely welcomed. Let’s hope the tide turns soon.

– Nancy Koppelman